Confusion

Sometimes I wonder if you truly care. I've been missing for few days and yet you still don't show how much you care. When I'm around, you treat me like strangers and when I'm away you don't bother asking where I am. Maybe its your ego as a guy. Somehow I just wanna tell myself that no, he actually cares just that because of his ego, he doesn't show it out. Even if it's true, girls need assurance, need proves that he actually cares.

Despite ally confusions, I think I better start thinking for myself as well. People says that if you love someone, you want them to be happy. And yes, I do care and love you with all my heart therefore I will no longer hold you back, I will let you go. Freedom - that's your birthday present for this year, maybe the best thing I can give you although it kills me inside but yes, that's yours now. You are free to do everything that you want, mingle with whoever you want, date whichever girl you want. Maybe that will also be the last birthday present for you.

Let me be an adult here. After all my thinking sessions, I want to stop playing the blaming game. You sort of blame me for everything that's why you have all the negativity towards me. If I'm to blame you, I have as much to blame as well. Because of you I came here. Because of you now I have no objective to stay here. If not because of you, I might have started my career elsewhere, started working and earning my own money instead of doing this diploma. Because of you I've been hurt by your family. Because of you and coming here, I argued with my dad. Because of you my dad had a bit of hard time for me to come here. Because of being with you I have to let micky stay back in kl alone. I have a long list as well. But I ain't be like kids, I don't wanna start playing this blame game.

If we are meant to be together, there will be a way one day. If we are not meant to be together, maybe that's how this should end.

Me doing this, its not that I don't love you. I do, I really do, but I can't bear the pain as well. Letting you go is the only choice that I have right now..... It hurts me but maybe It's for the best, for you and for me and for us