For those who know me for some time, they know how I really am. For those who love me, they accept me as it it. When I'm not ok, I'm not ok.
I can't smile and act like nothing happened. I'm no fake! I can't act like there is nothing while there are so many things going on. I'm not like other people. I'm not a good actor, I don't act. If I'm not happy, I show my grumpy face and simply shut my mouth. I'm not like other who can smile and not feel guilty for something bad, I can't come home and act like there is nothing going on at home while having affairs outside. I can't tell people to look at me in the eyes to believe my words while telling all the lies.
If I tell people that I love them, I mean it. I mean every single word I say. If I say you are important it means you are and you will be my priority, not like others who can say love and those sort of things but still make the person feel like shit all the time.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Is it gonna be worth it?
One chance after another, how many chances I have given out. I'm not usually soft like this. I'm nice and being taken for granted, and when I'm not being nice, I'm called bitch. How many chances do people deserve to be given? How many chances have to be wasted before it is being full used?
I have tried again and again. But there is always question deep down inside me,"Will it gonna be worth it this time?". My head and my heart often argues, even when sleeping. The head says one thing and the heart says the other thing. Which one should I follow?
I guess the current me now that don't say much it's because I'm just used to being like this, because I remember when I used to voice out all my opinions, I was never been heard therefore I preferred to shut up. I have always this way, I always want people to realise their doings without the need of me pointing out everytime. If they know me well, they should know that I'm this type of person, especially after all the incidents that happened last year.
New year should be a better start for everything. When someone says that they want to change, how long will it last from the moment they speak it out, one week, two weeks, one months, two months? Then will the changes be for long term or short term? Do they really want to change at the first place? If they do, how much effort do they put it to make it better? These are all the things that count, not just the words "I want to change".
I have tried again and again. But there is always question deep down inside me,"Will it gonna be worth it this time?". My head and my heart often argues, even when sleeping. The head says one thing and the heart says the other thing. Which one should I follow?
I guess the current me now that don't say much it's because I'm just used to being like this, because I remember when I used to voice out all my opinions, I was never been heard therefore I preferred to shut up. I have always this way, I always want people to realise their doings without the need of me pointing out everytime. If they know me well, they should know that I'm this type of person, especially after all the incidents that happened last year.
New year should be a better start for everything. When someone says that they want to change, how long will it last from the moment they speak it out, one week, two weeks, one months, two months? Then will the changes be for long term or short term? Do they really want to change at the first place? If they do, how much effort do they put it to make it better? These are all the things that count, not just the words "I want to change".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)