Chances

Everyone deserves a second chance. Nobody's perfect. Even God gives us chances after chances to make us the right person, to make everything right from our wrongs. We should give people chances for them to prove themselves as well. But we are not God, we are human where there is limit in our patience. We don't have the patience like Him.

When we give people chances, we are hoping that they would prove us wrong about them. We are giving them time to show us that our judgement is wrong. But what if they don't make use of those chances? What if they take the chances for granted? What if they think they could get the third, fourth, fifth, sixth and countless times of chances? Some people just like to take advantage of the situation and people for granted. Just because they think they are forgiven for the first time, they think we would do the same for the next wrong doingS.

Second chance, third chance, fourth chance, countless chance I've given him to prove himself. I've given him chances to prove me wrong that he is not that type of guy like others. I've given myself and him time for him to really make use of the chances. But I seem to be taken for granted again. He seems to take these chances so easily, as if it's easily given for nothing. Words remain as words if no action is taken, it's meaningless and worthless.

I've given him chances to prove me wrong that he is still the person who keeps his words just like how he hates people who don't keep their words. One time, two times, three times, countless times. And now when we argue, I can't believe he actually said that it's very hard to compromise with me. I was like What the hell!!!. I'm more than willing to compromise and I stick to our agreement. He finds it difficult to compromise with me because he knows that he can't stick to it and he's being greedy and wants all for his good only without considering my feeling. I mean it doesn't make sense if only now he says that it's hard to compromise with me. I'm the easiest person to find win win situation with in everything and stick to it and I expect the same, just like how he expects me in everything like how he wants it. Omg, such a childish creature........

What is love???

Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. ~I Corinthians 13:4-7

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Loves is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It dose not take offense and is not resentful. Love take no pleasure in others people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”

― Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember


Some people mention love but they are still selfish, what is it then???

To u

Dear u,

I don't know how to talk things out so I prefer to express my feelings here. I don't care if you are gonna read,at least writing it out makes me feel better. I just don't feel like talking to you face to face about some stuffs because you never want to listen and understand,make me feel like talking to a wall. Somehow when I talk to you I feel like you don't understand human language,even a dog can understand human language better than you.

This one month has been very tiring. I'm tired of all the arguements. I'm tired of everything. I just don't feel happy and contented anymore. You have been very selfish. You never want to understand me at all. You never stick to your words at all while you always think that you are so mature. BULLSHIT!

You always say that I'm annoying. You say that I like to nag and find things to argue about and it makes you tired as well. But the thing is you never realise the cause of our arguementS. You know clearly I'm not happy that you are being closed with girls especially after the cheating incident. But you told me you have no friends and should let you chat. Then we made agreements which are you won't reply n respond to them when we spend time and after work whenever you are with me at home,also only go out in group.

The point is, although I'm not happy but I still commit to our agreements,and you don't stick to it therefore I get annoyed and become annoying to you. If you stick to your words, we won't argue at all, everything will be just good as before. It's you who caused all the arguements and yet I'm the one to be blamed and called annoying which is not fair at all. I do nothing wrong. Unless if I say you can't chat or go out with them at all then you have the right to be annoyed at me because I don't stick to our win win situation agreement. This time It's all from you and within yourself and yet I get blamed.

If you can make use of your brain to think and be smarter, you will eventually realise that it's you that caused all the stress to yourself. If you know that we argue because of one thing, then stop it or try to improve things. But in this case, you know you don't stick to your words, you know why we argue but still you keep doing it, you don't show efforts to make us not argue anymore. And when you do it again and again, of course I get very pissed and that's when you find me annoying,which I think I have solid reason to be annoyed. I'd you know that's the caused of our problem then you should solve it instead of doing it and dragging the time.

All the anger and stress that you have is all from you, not me. I don't do anything wrong. Usually when I'm not happy, I'm just asking you to stick to your words, as simple as that but I don't know why you find it difficult. It's just a simple agreement. You yourself know you don't stick to your words and its not ok but you act like its nothing at all.

Please make use of your head to think about it again about what I've written here. All I want is you to understand me. All the time you want me to understand that you need friend, you like to have fun, and other blablabla, I try so hard to understand you, but you don't even try to understand me a single time,which is not fair at all. You told me you want this relationship to work, you want to make up for the cheating incident, then please do something about this....

Underappreciated

Whenever you are there all the time for someone, they tend to take you for granted thinking that no matter what happen, we are always there for them. But do they ever realise how tiring it is to be the person being taken for granted? What if we change place and we take them for granted, do you think they will stay still for you in any condition and when you treat them badly?

Some people don't realise what they do but some actually do but choose to ignore and continue with what they do. I sometimes wonder if they ever think that the person might leave one day and never come back and when they regret things will be too late, as the saying that regret only come later when people lose something.

Same comes to love and feelings. What will you do if your other half just do whatever that make them happy without considering about how you feel about it? Will you choose to stay or go? Even if you choose to stay, to what extend you can tolerate their behaviour? How much pain can you endure? How long do you plan to stay? First chance, second chance, third chance, how many chances can you give for them to change and be better?

Some people are very unappreciative to what they have and people around them. It's good enough that some still choose to stay after being treated very badly. Some people choose to stay because they believe that as time goes their partner will slowly change back like before. But what if the person never change at all after the long period of waiting? It's tiring isn't it? Especially when it comes to the person who you are willing to do everything for but they never appreciate all that you do for them.

Always remember, treat people right and people will do the same to you. What goes around comes around. Don't regret things when it is already too late.

Problem??

One problem after another, it's very tiring. Why do people argue? Why do people get annoyed? Why do people get mad? It's all come to your own mindset. Love what you do and finally everything will be good in the end. But some people don't realise this. Greed and selfishness are the caused of this.

One day argue, one day good, another day argue and another day ok. I don't know what is going on. It's like playing a game. But you don't realise that my heart (I don't know about yours) is not a toy. It has feelings. My heart is not made of steel that can endure everything, all the pain and annoyance.  I'm not a soft toy which you cuddle when your mood is good and kick away when your mood is bad.

Your annoyance and anger towards me has nothing to do with me. I believe I don't do anything wrong to make you feel that way. It's within you yourself. Plus, I don't wake up to please everyone everyday, I don't even wake up to please my family everyday. Also, I hate it to have to feel like shit everyday for nothing but your doings.

Agreement has been made. Monday to Wednesday are the days that we spend time together no matter what  we do and you know clearly about it. If you are not happy about it then be it. You just have to make do with whatever you have. You can't have what you want all the time. You wanting to spend time with your friends is not my problem. Why do you even comparing the time we spend together and the time you spend with your friends? These are two totally different things. You can make our time together good if you want to, you can enjoy all the time that we have together if you focus on us. How can you focus on us while you are always busy on the chat with your friends?

We also agree the working days are the time you spend with your friends, then I can't interrupt as well if you prefer to go out during your free time on those days. I stick to our agreement to give you some space as well. I respect your needs as well.  I respect the time you want to spend with your friends, although I'm not happy that you spend time with girls, you also won't listen to me as your girlfriend then I can't do much about it as well.

I've been giving in so much since we are here. You want to spend time with your friends, go. You want to go out drinking, go. You want to have dinner with your friends, go. You want to wake up early for breakfast, go. Now you want to go out with all girls, I also can't have a say. You want to chat with girls all the time, I can't have a say as well. If I say even a single word, you turn into a beast.

Do you think it's all fair to me? You are the one that keep talking about being fair, mature and everything and look at it now. When I ask you out to do something or even just to have dinner outside, you refuse with the reason to save money, but whenever your friends ask you out, you never objected at all without thinking of the cost. Even when your friends ask you out for coffee or a drink, you will fly there asap if possible, and when I ask you out to do the same thing, you tell me you prefer to stay home and lazying around. Then after all this, you start complaining how bored it is to spend time with me doing nothing, I'm not fun at all, not like your friends who like to do a lot of things. I never did anything wrong, and yet I'm the one that is to be blamed for your boredom. Then you start to get annoyed and prefer to go out with your friends and show your unhappy face like you are forced to spend our time together. It's all within yourself, don't blame it on me.

I don't know what kind of relationship you are actually after. But if you are after a relationship where you can do whatever you want and let you have your own ways and only want to have your own views on things, I don't think I can last long here. This is not the sort of relationship that I'm looking for. I'm looking for a mature relationship where we have our time together and yet we have our own space to do our own things. I'm looking for someone who can compromise things, who try to understand me as much as I understand him. I don't want a relationship that always argue every single day for stupid reasons. I want the relationship where we respect each other and not hurt each other feelings. What's the point of being together if you argue or feel annoyed and being unhappy every single day? Being in a relationship is to enjoy each other's company and to feel happy, comfortable and loved.

I'm not your donkey which you can push all your anger and annoyance to. I'm your girlfriend, the person you choose to be by your side, the person you choose to be your main support and partner. I'm not the person to be treated like shit all the time. You have been giving me tons of shit and I don't say anything and love you as who you are and stay still. Try to drop just an ounce of shit to your fun friends and see if they are still going to be our friends, try and see what happen when everyone start to leave you because of your shit. Trust me, you can count with your fingers how many of them choose to stay and be your friends still after seeing your true colours. Appreciate what you have before you lose it. I'm not afraid to leave if you don't treat me right....