Another day

I woke up early and went to your room to continue my sleep. It was good to be able to sleep with you just like last time when we were happy together. I miss those moments so so much.

Last night I actually asked you about the share room that you talked about when you were unwell. You said looking for a nice decent room, but you didn't try to search again after that morning. I didn't want to say much about it, as in I start to accept things that happened between us. If he really wants it then I let him do that part of the job. I just want him to actually do something for us because I've put my best efforts. It was a good spent time last night, we were on your bed talking about food, spent some time together, you also asked if I wanted to sleep together, but I said no, I only want to if you really want me to stay.

It's weird that you asked me why I sang the jet plane song. If you really know me well enough, you should know that I only actually sing when a song describes my current feeling. I've been listening to jet plane song because that song really describes my feeling right now. All I want to do is to spend proper time with you, create good memories for us after all the fights and all the things that happened between us. I just want you to always remember me, I don't want you to remember all the bad times that we had here, I want you to remember the good times we have after all that happened. I don't want you to have bad memories about me. I want there is still a single dot of me in you in your whole life so you can never forget about me.

Three weeks to go and I'm counting down.  I hope you make a good decision for you, me and us. I'm preparing myself for the worst. Although I really hate it if I have to leave, but I do all that for your happiness, which matters the most for me. I keep telling myself, if he really wants me to stay he should do something about it, but I wonder if he cares enough about it. I wonder if he's going to do something to make me stay. I wonder if he really loves me still just like how I love him always. The feeling for him never changed at all despite of the things that happened, the pain and the hurt, instead it grows fonder. It makes me realise that he plays a big part in my world, my happiness, that I need him more and more each day... I miss you