Long term relationship

Today is the exact 3rd week of the 1month. Sigh....

I've read a lot about relationship and the stages that most people go through. And maybe this is what I'm going through at the moment. 3 years is not a short time, pretty long for a relationship. Things have changed much from the beginning. I still remember when we first got together, we didn't want to part from one another, always enjoyed each other's company, did everything together, bla bla bla.


After almost 3 years, so many things happened, things changed. We are no longer like last time anymore. One fight after another, arguments after arguments to the point where we stopped talking to each other to stop arguing. Now after decided to want to make things better that you told me you want to come back, how come I don't feel happy anymore about it? Maybe it's all the pain that changed the feeling, changed people, changed us. Relationship is supposed to be happy, but how come I don't see the happiness in us anymore? Is it because we stop trying to reach out for the happiness?


Love? Is love itself enough to keep a relationship going? Is love itself enough to keep us together? Is it love that make us holding onto each other still? Somehow I just don't feel the love anymore. I don't feel loved, I don't feel cared, I don't feel being appreciated, I don't feel being needed, I don't feel wanted by you. Or is it me, my feeling that slowly fade? Even I believe both of us know that this relationship is not healthy anymore.


Some people say love is everything. I used to think that way too. Now I realise that love itself is not enough to make relationship works. Hand in hand, teddy bear hugs, kisses, sweet love, everything that we used to do, that was why we were so strong. 


I do love you with all my heart, I do want you to be around, you are still my everything, but somehow I feel that there is something missing between us. I don't know whether it is you that changed, your love for me changed or any other reason. But one thing that is surely gone between us is the bond, the chemistry that made us so strong last time. There is no more sparks between us.We are still holding onto each other maybe because of love that we have, but if we do nothing to get the bond and sparks back, this relationship will soon or later slowly drift away....


I miss us, the times we spent together, the ups and downs we faced together. I miss our sweet time together doing nothing stayed and cuddled on bed whole day and yet felt very contented. I miss that feeling where even when you sit next to me means the world to me, knowing that you are around is the most important.


I.heart.you