Difficult no?

Another weekend, another busy working time for me and him therefore we don't get to spend as much time together. Sad though, but what can we do, whenever I'm home, he's out working and whenever he's home, I'm busy working.

I miss him much. I miss the time when we were struggling to look for job, struggling with limited cash, despite all of that, the relationship was much stronger when we had nothing. Maybe it's just like the quote,"Women's loyalty is being tested when he has nothing while men's loyalty is being tested when he has everything".  I miss our KL time a lot as well, much more actually, those happy times together. On top of all this, I realise that I shouldn't live in the past, life goes on, the past is memory now, but part of me doesn't want you and me to just be memory.

It has been two weeks since I told him to think about what he wants and what to do with this relationship. Since then he told me that he wants to make things better for both of us. He said want to search for place together, but nothing much has been done since then. I do love him, I do want him but part of me keeps questioning in my head whether he is sincere this time, whether he is serious to want to make us better. Trust takes time to build but easily broken. I don't mean to make things difficult for him and us to be back, but I need to see his sincerity, I need to know if he is serious, I need proves not just words. I'm being more cautious about everything now especially my heart because now I know how fragile it is. He was the person that I ever trusted the most about everything, I never expected that he would hurt me, cut me so deep inside but he did. I do really want to keep this relationship that's why I fight so hard, but somehow I feel that I've fought enough, now is his part to do the job. I don't know if he's going to do it but I hope so because I love him way too much, I care for him more than anything.....


P.S. I miss us lots....